Physiological support, such as breathing, movements, stretching.
Coping strategies makes a huge difference. People’s respond to stress in two ways, i.e. positive response and negative response. And perhaps, there is nothing better than to transform the adversity into an enjoyable challenge. For those who can, are self assured which is different from being self centred. Training yourself to become one is a great step for anyone.
Becoming aware about about the environment helps to look at new possibilities and responses.
You can either begin by either trying to remove the obstacles or by focusing on the entire situation and asking yourself the applicability of the alternatives.
Developing an autotelic self which involves, setting goals- monitoring feedback, by becoming immersed in it, paying attention to surroundings/ practising here and now, and enjoying the experiences of the moment.
“ Today I refuse to stress myself out about things I cannot control or change.”
Staying is flow is not easy all the time, especially when there is too much information in your head, focusing on the external sources, or self conscious. Each by itself is insufficient.
You must have heard some people constantly complaining about constantly unable or incapable to experience flow.
But, what they fail to understand is less they require external stimuli to represent to their consciousness, could be events or anything, would make them more autonomous from the environment.
It on the contrary creates independence as compared to those who heavily rely on too many external stimulus. It allows you to have flexible attention.
Doesn’t it make you wonder how does one achieve it?
Learning can help you compensate and fall in place. And the only pre-requisite to it to become less self conscious as it acts as a motivation to not get disturbed by external events.
Here are some ways to stay in flow
Body You must be aware that each one of us have hidden potential within. That is how one excel in their bodily art and some become great athletes or dancers. It is a delight, and anyone can develop sufficient skills to find it.
Mind A place that allows us to have the most exhilarating experiences, is generated inside the mind. The most natural state of mind is chaos. Without training it adequately, no one can focus longer than just a few minutes. And, as often as we leave it to do nothing, it forms patterns, such as grudges, frustrations or things which aren’t so relevant. The reason why meditation acts as a way to gain control over mental processes.
Memory The oldest skill. It gives us the luxury to relive the experiences we once lived, or to brings things in order in our conscious. The better you are able to use it skillfully, more easy it gets to find meaning in the content of mind.
Communication One of the way to enhance your life is through improving the quality of experience. It gives your mind a disciplined means of expression. Writing could be one of the ways and self communication brings things in order.
Job Your job provides you an opportunity to stay in flow. Looking at it as a way to have challenges, learning and growth. Of course there are certain days when the marketplace makes it sound like a burden from external source. But one can have momentary experience of joy.
“If you are interested in something, you will focus on it, and if you focus attention on anything, it is likely that you will become interested in it. Many of the things we find interesting are not so by nature, but because we took the trouble of paying attention to them.” ― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Before beginning to work on punctuality, it is essential that you understand what is making you late. Watch yourself and your routine carefully to identify what really is making you late. DeLonzor author of Never Be Late Again says – many late people — including herself — are likely to have an aversion to leaving the house. To combat this she uses a mantra of sorts: “When I catch myself doing this, I’ll snap or clap and say ‘This can wait.”
This article is not here to make you feel bad about your lateness or to say lateness makes you the worst of all. It is just to help you to work it out, if this is one.
Firstly, If you want to begin with identifying, have a look at DeLonzor who identifies fourtypes of persistently late people
The Crisis Maker
I am refraining to crowd this article with too much information so you can go ahead find your type.
Secondly, your motivation is with you. Find. Find Find. because it helps when you have a reason to be on time, it can be anything. I can give you an example here – Reach to work early and head home early to spend time with yourself, your family, or your pet.
Thirdly, begin with declutter. The thing is we unnecessarily clutter our lives with all things, thoughts and what not. Take an example of your cupboard, how easy it gets when you keep things in place, you find them early.
And, lastly, take responsibility. Know what makes you late, it can even be spending too much time in front of the cupboard every morning just to finalise what you’d want to wear today. Take notice of where you are investing too much time where it is not even required. Decide it the night before or wake up early.
End note – You are too amazing to put a blame on yourself for being late. Cultivate an attitude of punctuality, even if it is 10 minutes in prior.
Subconscious – the word that immediately captures our attention.
Subconscious is a part of mind placed right under your conscious. It works silently, just as the back coding behind your computer screen. It closely works with accepting or rejecting information, and helping you form your perception. Every experience acts like a sponge into your subconscious. It absorbs the detail and information.
All the detail and information that was absorbed gets utilized in a way that helps us to work effectively in the present moment. Our subconscious also referred to as “auto pilot” has immense power to control and navigate our day to day lives, even our preferences perhaps. From the kind of food we eat, music we like, career preferences to the actions we take when faced by stressful events.
It plays a vital role in forming our perceptions. While you were a child you only accepted what was fed into our systems, but as you grew up, you started understanding life differently, and that is how some of the learning created conflicts. For instance – you accepted the when you were told as a child that you can not do this task on your own. As you grew up your immediate reaction to something would be, I can not do this work because I might be incompetent at it. Henceforth, let me give up.
See the thing is, our beliefs are shaped on the basis of your programming, it is similar to how an app functions, just how all the information that is there on the screen consists of a back coding behind it. Often influenced by the people you are surrounded with, environment, texts you read, or perhaps learning in any other format.
So, what can be done , can you never change or restructure. Well! definitely, you can. The subconscious is always working. Though we must understand that what was learnt might take some time to restructure. Although, once you get the information and practice consistently. You can rewire and benefit ourselves.
Here is how:
When you are visualizing the pictures through your mind, the subconscious mind can capture and respond to it. It is a great way to empower and reprogram your mind with uplifting and positive images.
Try practicing for at least 10-15 minutes on daily basis. Simply close your eyes and try to bring attention to the experiences you want to have in your life. It can be visualizing images of a fulfilling relationship, a beautiful home, a dream project or anything.
Most importantly, when you are visualizing, try to emit positive emotions, emit love and gratitude towards the experience. Allow peace to flow through you.
You see environment plays an important role in becoming. Try to keep keen notice that your environment is filled with people who are successful, who are filled with positive and growth mindset. Do not waste your time or energy on something that is not serving you with either one of these.
You many not necessarily seek out for people, it is of course one way. But the other ways of doing it can be listening to courses online, read about people who inspire you and begin.
I know it may sound fictional to you as you read this, but there have been overwhelming research on brainwaves and the results have been quite positive. The audio recordings are likely to have altering brainwave effects.
It relies on what you are doing and fall into specific frequencies.
The reprogramming occurs by creating a receptive medium for installing positive messages.
Ps. I have tried linking some audios for you here. If someone has better audios than the ones linked, please share in the comments below.
“The way to get rid of darkness is with light; the way to overcome cold is with heat; the way to overcome the negative thought is to substitute the good thought. Affirm the good, and the bad will vanish.” – Jospeh Murphy
We all keep looking for sources to work on ourselves constantly. In this constant seeking process, we look at pages of the books, philosophies, religious books, and sometimes even in the conversations we have in our lives.
Today, the generation is upgrading and updating itself every single moment, then why take a back seat, rather make notes and build something meaningful and magical. On the simplest of things to most debated and searched topics such as how to save money, how to purchase property, etc, etc.
Here is some motivation for you to go look out find what resonates.
“Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill
“If you want to be tougher mentally, it is simple: Be tougher. Don’t meditate on it” – Jocko Willink
“Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.” – Farrah Gray
“We are the impossibility in an impossible universe.” – Ray Bradbury
“You don’t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!” – John Lennon
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else, is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“My thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into constellations.” – John Green
“If you are working on something that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.” – Steve Jobs
“We shall rise insensibly, and reach the tops of the everlasting hills, where the winds are cool and the sight is glorious.” – Paul Kalanithi
End note – Your motivation begins to soar when you begin to believe in the possibility of growth.
There are days when life throws a curveball and leaves a feeling of disappointment. It makes one feel sad and hollow. You go back to our bed feeling that everything is just not worth it. Perhaps, you won’t ever make up for it and this constant tug gets exhausting.
If you are finding hard to understand disappointment, I will share some examples with you.
You did not score well.
You did not get the expected raise.
Your partner rejecting you.
Your research paper not getting acceptance.
Perhaps, the reason why we tend to feel disappointed can be due to external or internal factors.
Nonetheless, impacts you. So, what can done? Definitely one can’t sit in disappointments forever. It does not mean that you just can’t afford to feel disappointed. You have the right to experience everything that you want.
Here are some ways which can be of some help to you in that time.
Give yourself the time to acknowledge of what happened – Accept your feelings, emotions and thoughts that you have had about the disappointment. When you accept, you give yourself more breathing space. And it certainly helps you to understand the cause of the suffering.
Ask yourself, how can I make this better – I understand that it might not come instantly, but sometimes questions helps us in a great way to bridge the gap. When you ask yourself right questions, you begin to expand and your brain helps us in providing you alternatives.
Do not victimize – It is so easy to slip into victimizing oneself and dooming into the pool. Try staying away from it. It makes you feel small and certainly brings down all the hard work you have put in to build yourself so far.
Expand your thinking to possibilities – Believe me that does makes you feel better, and fill enough dreams to look forward to. Remember when you were a child you would dream of things that you wanted. There is still scope to improvise and shift gears to what all is out there for you.
Bush off and shine bright – Begin to raise your game, look at your skills, look at what you have in your hand to make it better. If there is something out there that will help you become better, do that. Learn, learn learn.
Be grateful – How much ever you get disappointed in life, remember there is still part of your life that still shines. Count on it as a blessing, whether it is the house you stay in, your pet, your child, your plant, your success, or anything. Express gratitude and let good unfold for you.
Remember – You are here to grow beyond the disappointments life throws at you. 🙂