Physiological support, such as breathing, movements, stretching.
Coping strategies makes a huge difference. People’s respond to stress in two ways, i.e. positive response and negative response. And perhaps, there is nothing better than to transform the adversity into an enjoyable challenge. For those who can, are self assured which is different from being self centred. Training yourself to become one is a great step for anyone.
Becoming aware about about the environment helps to look at new possibilities and responses.
You can either begin by either trying to remove the obstacles or by focusing on the entire situation and asking yourself the applicability of the alternatives.
Developing an autotelic self which involves, setting goals- monitoring feedback, by becoming immersed in it, paying attention to surroundings/ practising here and now, and enjoying the experiences of the moment.
“ Today I refuse to stress myself out about things I cannot control or change.”
Perhaps, most of you would say no, because most of the interactions have revolved around negative connotations. You would have feared it so much so that at some point made you fearful.
Give it a chance, once again and recreate it. In a way that begin believing that you are allowed to be here, and just by believing that – you are allowed to have your own version, vision and voice.
A way which is devoid of the restricted negative self absorption, that what is free from self doubt, self hatred, self disgust, self judgement, or a sense of grandeur, considering oneself as the greatest.
It is lot to do with how you define yourself. Begins when you stand and say whatever it is that is away from obediently responding to what others have to say about you; that you are stupid or you suck.
Stand up and be what you are. I am a scientist. I am a painter. I am a _______, and I am a _______ and would be ________ as well! I am figuring out what I am, but I am confident and curious enough to find it!
Say it for yourself, let anyone in the universe know who you are – an announcement to yourself and others. Helps you to rise and reclaim your potential.
Begin having a conversation yourself with anyone and feel entitled to say that in a conversation.
Practise it as much, anytime and anywhere. Only when you stay persistent, you would be able to observe its impact.
Keep yourself constantly reminding, re-reminding yourself and creating irrespective of the anxieties, outcome or insecurities that you might have.
Calmly, yet firmly, even to the darkest voice within you.
Imagine – if someone asks you, how would you begin working on self-improvement, what would it be? And, definitely there would be a moment when you would get to the advice you received on it.
Just more and more content on optimisation. Why not, because all of us are striving for getting better and better.
It is not surprising that it all needs efforts and consistency. If you are running your own business, where you would be focusing on innovation and implementation.
Here are 3 things about self improvement-
It is about your journey Pushing hard would only make you feel sad about your own self. No one has ever excelled by putting a constant reminder of what are the impossibilities of getting what you want. Stay. Hold. Breathe. Begin again. No one can give you the time you need to recuperate but your own self. Wander on some days, follow on other. And for the rest keep exploring what you like, how you like.
Not one shoe goes with all your dresses Try different ways, just like you would not wear your gym shoes under a dress, similarly don’t stick with one thing. Try things out. Ask yourself what I like, over and over again. Everyday is a new discovery and everyday new things come up. Experiment. Self awareness is not a one day thing. It is crucial to your experiences and learning.
Self-compassion Ever noticed that smile on your on face when you see your loved one, or when you get what you wanted. Self-compassion is treating yourself in the face of failure the way you would a good friend. Showing yourself kindness and understanding, you are investing in your own well-being.
“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.”-William Faulkner
Looking to this day, the last month of 2019 has begun. And there is nothing more effective than asking oneself effective questions. Sitting and planning about the upcoming month sometimes help, if not always.
Every month is like a new beginning and almost feels like a tabula-rasa. There is a lot you can achieve by just setting some small goals and habits for oneself, just like your own monthly bucket list.
Here are some questions from my list which can help you to uncover and reflect on how you would like your last month of the year to be.
How would I like to feel during this month? Simple question can help you to bring in a great check on your feelings and help you uncover how you want to feel. It will help you to prioritise on the things or aspects of your life and of course on the parts that will get you closer to how you would like to feel.
Where would I like to be by the end of this month? It does not have to be revolving around achievements always. You can of other aspects such as your personal growth, a business idea you have been working upon, the actions you would like to take for your life or just a small get away to give yourself a break.
What would make this month accomplishing for me? It really depends on what makes you feel more satisfied in life. It is important that you do not involve in self doubt but instead look at the things you would like to accomplish for yourself, even if is learning how to drive, or a musical instrument. Anything that makes you feel happy and satisfied in life.
What advice I would like to give myself for this month? Many of us actively involve in giving others advice. Why give ourselves a backseat then? This is a new practice I started this year and believe me it helps me. All of us have a good share of experiences and on the days we feel low, words help. My last month advice to myself was – “I will give myself a chance to rise today.” Find what helps you.
What is my budget for this month? Give yourself a set plan and manage in that amount. At the end of the day, we should all save for the days when we just want a break for ourselves. And as grown ups we should sustain independently. I usually take out a monthly expenditure and deposit the rest of my savings.
I hope this helps you in some way. Go, give it a try!
Subconscious – the word that immediately captures our attention.
Subconscious is a part of mind placed right under your conscious. It works silently, just as the back coding behind your computer screen. It closely works with accepting or rejecting information, and helping you form your perception. Every experience acts like a sponge into your subconscious. It absorbs the detail and information.
All the detail and information that was absorbed gets utilized in a way that helps us to work effectively in the present moment. Our subconscious also referred to as “auto pilot” has immense power to control and navigate our day to day lives, even our preferences perhaps. From the kind of food we eat, music we like, career preferences to the actions we take when faced by stressful events.
It plays a vital role in forming our perceptions. While you were a child you only accepted what was fed into our systems, but as you grew up, you started understanding life differently, and that is how some of the learning created conflicts. For instance – you accepted the when you were told as a child that you can not do this task on your own. As you grew up your immediate reaction to something would be, I can not do this work because I might be incompetent at it. Henceforth, let me give up.
See the thing is, our beliefs are shaped on the basis of your programming, it is similar to how an app functions, just how all the information that is there on the screen consists of a back coding behind it. Often influenced by the people you are surrounded with, environment, texts you read, or perhaps learning in any other format.
So, what can be done , can you never change or restructure. Well! definitely, you can. The subconscious is always working. Though we must understand that what was learnt might take some time to restructure. Although, once you get the information and practice consistently. You can rewire and benefit ourselves.
Here is how:
When you are visualizing the pictures through your mind, the subconscious mind can capture and respond to it. It is a great way to empower and reprogram your mind with uplifting and positive images.
Try practicing for at least 10-15 minutes on daily basis. Simply close your eyes and try to bring attention to the experiences you want to have in your life. It can be visualizing images of a fulfilling relationship, a beautiful home, a dream project or anything.
Most importantly, when you are visualizing, try to emit positive emotions, emit love and gratitude towards the experience. Allow peace to flow through you.
You see environment plays an important role in becoming. Try to keep keen notice that your environment is filled with people who are successful, who are filled with positive and growth mindset. Do not waste your time or energy on something that is not serving you with either one of these.
You many not necessarily seek out for people, it is of course one way. But the other ways of doing it can be listening to courses online, read about people who inspire you and begin.
I know it may sound fictional to you as you read this, but there have been overwhelming research on brainwaves and the results have been quite positive. The audio recordings are likely to have altering brainwave effects.
It relies on what you are doing and fall into specific frequencies.
The reprogramming occurs by creating a receptive medium for installing positive messages.
Ps. I have tried linking some audios for you here. If someone has better audios than the ones linked, please share in the comments below.
“The way to get rid of darkness is with light; the way to overcome cold is with heat; the way to overcome the negative thought is to substitute the good thought. Affirm the good, and the bad will vanish.” – Jospeh Murphy
We all keep looking for sources to work on ourselves constantly. In this constant seeking process, we look at pages of the books, philosophies, religious books, and sometimes even in the conversations we have in our lives.
Today, the generation is upgrading and updating itself every single moment, then why take a back seat, rather make notes and build something meaningful and magical. On the simplest of things to most debated and searched topics such as how to save money, how to purchase property, etc, etc.
Here is some motivation for you to go look out find what resonates.
“Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill
“If you want to be tougher mentally, it is simple: Be tougher. Don’t meditate on it” – Jocko Willink
“Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.” – Farrah Gray
“We are the impossibility in an impossible universe.” – Ray Bradbury
“You don’t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!” – John Lennon
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else, is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“My thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into constellations.” – John Green
“If you are working on something that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.” – Steve Jobs
“We shall rise insensibly, and reach the tops of the everlasting hills, where the winds are cool and the sight is glorious.” – Paul Kalanithi
End note – Your motivation begins to soar when you begin to believe in the possibility of growth.
There are days when life throws a curveball and leaves a feeling of disappointment. It makes one feel sad and hollow. You go back to our bed feeling that everything is just not worth it. Perhaps, you won’t ever make up for it and this constant tug gets exhausting.
If you are finding hard to understand disappointment, I will share some examples with you.
You did not score well.
You did not get the expected raise.
Your partner rejecting you.
Your research paper not getting acceptance.
Perhaps, the reason why we tend to feel disappointed can be due to external or internal factors.
Nonetheless, impacts you. So, what can done? Definitely one can’t sit in disappointments forever. It does not mean that you just can’t afford to feel disappointed. You have the right to experience everything that you want.
Here are some ways which can be of some help to you in that time.
Give yourself the time to acknowledge of what happened – Accept your feelings, emotions and thoughts that you have had about the disappointment. When you accept, you give yourself more breathing space. And it certainly helps you to understand the cause of the suffering.
Ask yourself, how can I make this better – I understand that it might not come instantly, but sometimes questions helps us in a great way to bridge the gap. When you ask yourself right questions, you begin to expand and your brain helps us in providing you alternatives.
Do not victimize – It is so easy to slip into victimizing oneself and dooming into the pool. Try staying away from it. It makes you feel small and certainly brings down all the hard work you have put in to build yourself so far.
Expand your thinking to possibilities – Believe me that does makes you feel better, and fill enough dreams to look forward to. Remember when you were a child you would dream of things that you wanted. There is still scope to improvise and shift gears to what all is out there for you.
Bush off and shine bright – Begin to raise your game, look at your skills, look at what you have in your hand to make it better. If there is something out there that will help you become better, do that. Learn, learn learn.
Be grateful – How much ever you get disappointed in life, remember there is still part of your life that still shines. Count on it as a blessing, whether it is the house you stay in, your pet, your child, your plant, your success, or anything. Express gratitude and let good unfold for you.
Remember – You are here to grow beyond the disappointments life throws at you. 🙂
Most often when the day ends, we tend to regret for not utilising our time efficiently.
Breakdowns happen on the rarest of times on the strangest of things. Its true that we tend to slip off the grid. It makes us feel that everything is futile. Ennui befalls everyone. But what we push away is our own hidden resources that can help us to overcome.
I have been there so many times, and I know that smile on your face is enough of an evidence for me to know that you have been there, or are there too.
I remember getting frustrated on small and futile topics at work. For instance – wifi not working, coffee machine going out of work, burning my toast and what not. Well! not to miss a fellow colleague being mean, and creating a fuss in my head for hours. Frustration can never be enough, enough to summarize in one line. It needs a chips of potato chips and an hour long conversation.
I must say that our wonderful brains have the capacity to catastrophize an ant size problem to a supersize elephant. But instead of encircling the problem, we encircle the entire world around. It just needs a glass full of water turning down the thirst and bringing calm.
Or just opening the window and letting go of things that are not serving away in the air.
Moving further, don’t fixate on the downward spiral or a problem which you can not control. You don’t want to mop your own puke, so puke in the right place and flush it off.
Venting is not a problem, but make it a healthy venting.
Take time vent to someone with whom you feel connected. And once you share, move ahead of the frustration,
Engage in something creative, a hobby or learn something new.
Well! nothing beats preparing a meal that takes you away to another world.
End Note – Nonetheless your day is yours, those 86,400 seconds are for you. Invest in your growth and your happiness.