Talking about grief

When was the last time you grieved?

Taking time to remember, because it was longer than you expected. I empathise with you on this knowing the fact that it is not easy.

You tend to hold on strong so much and for so long that you forget that it still lives within your core.

The fear of death percolates beneath the surface and often haunts you. And denial is how you cope with it.

Death is a visitor in the course of lives. Some of it is visible in physicality, such as death of a dear one, pregnancy loss or a animal. While, the other stays invisible but hurts equally, such as loss of a relationship or friendship.

Let me make you look at the other side, the good reasons you should confront death.

It is helpful for you to explore into the course and meaning of one’s own life, given the fact that the life and death are interdependent. Then why to possibly ignore it?

It helps you to learn to live well and learn to die well equally.

Gives you a scope to know your own emotions and thoughts about death.

Makes you look at everyday from a different lens. This reminds me of Steve Jobs quote – “If you live each day as if it were your last, someday you’ll be right. Every morning I looked in the mirror and asked myself: If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I do today? ”

And lastly, gives you a chance to rivet your attention upon ‘being’ itself. It is a powerful experience.

Once you delve into those realms of existence; you have a good chance to come back to the stream of life and live it.

Here is one of my favourite read – Tolstoy’s story “The Death of Ivan Ilyich.”

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Stuck with the negatives?

You must be knowing that the more you repeat, the better it gets in your system and remember it for a long duration. Similarly, when you focus on the negative aspect or a thought for too long, you are rehearsing it into your system.

Studies have shown, that when you focus on the negatives for long, even when you are shown the positive aspects. You tend to feel low because you have focused on the negatives for too long.

For instance – when you get a job, you are likely to feel happy and return back to your normal state. But, if you get rejected, you are likely to feel low for a prolonged period of time and even if you happen to get a job after that rejection, the level of happiness is likely to be a little less.

Now what happens here…

Look at the two frames – the gain frame and the loss frame, using the example of a glass half full and half empty. The half full glass i.e. the gain frame is likely to make us feel happy and satisfied. While on the contrary, half empty glass i.e. loss frame is likely to make you feel gloomy and low.

Now what to do about it, rehearse on the good parts which would boost you and prevent you from drowning in the pool of miseries. What about a switch from thinking about it one way to thinking about it the other way?

It is pretty easy to tilt towards the negatives because it is so rehearsed in your system. For instance – if you get criticized by a co-worker, you will focus on it all your day and make your day clouded by those thoughts – Am I not god enough? He/she are the worst people… or the world sucks.

Try beginning that shift of you day to – what are the other things happened today? What are the things that made you feel grateful for? How can you make your evening better?

The matter is about shifting your rehearsal pattern. Focusing on the things beyond a negative pattern.

“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” –Aldous Huxley

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Catch Up with your Emotions

Emotions are a part of your daily functioning. They are present in each and everyone. They guide and help you to make your decisions.

Just like how you respond when some- How are you feeling today? or How do you feel when so and so incidence happened?

Over the past few years, you must have observed yourself more connected with your phone and less with yourself.

Here is what you can know about emotion management. You can make use of this when you are hit by your emotions.

  • How to handle it
  • Your go-to strategy
  • Triggering thoughts followed by a criticism

There are some important points to observe when you are in overwhelming situations. As you must be aware that once you lose track of yourself, you tend feel low and worse.

Emotion management is a topic which is like – read more and apply more and more. Train yourself. Know your high points and your low points. Find what helps you and what doesn’t. Your struggles are not same as others and so is your personality, or who you are.

Pay-attention to how you talk to yourself
So what precedes your emotion, it is your cognition. Self-talk plays a key role in how you are feeling about yourself. Imagine yourself telling this to yourself- “I suck at doing work.” vs. “I am best at getting this task done.” Do you feel the difference, yes? That is what I am talking about.

Emotional vocabulary – it needs to be worked upon
It is not good to write or keep using better words which exactly resonate with us. Using good/bad is just too old. Think about how over the years you have improved your vocabulary on writing your emails or a cover letter. Improving, expanding and refining your emotion vocabulary helps you find in a great way. You can use emotion wheel available online.

Mindfulness
I keep talking about it in most of my posts. It is so important. The more you feel and observe your self, the better you will become at regulating your emotions. Begin with breathing and paying attention to yourself keeping all the other things aside when you feel overwhelmed.

“Accept who you are; and revel in it.”― Mitch Albom

awareness believe believe in yourself boost capacity building conscious consistency create deal with disappointment discoverempower engage entreprenuer fitness gratitudegrowth mindset happiness heal health investlifestyle changes light love manifest Mental Healthmotivation new beginning positive power preventionproblemsolving psychology punctuality quotes rise save selfcareselfgrowth selflove stay strong subconscious mind trustunwind wellness work in progress

Shift Your Gears From Gloom To Great

While most of us enjoy life with the goodness it offers us. There are times when we end up feeling gloomy and succumb to some serious blues. If this keeps happening with you, find yourself some solutions and get over the dumps that push you down.

You will be surprised by the difference it creates. Believe in the minor acts and get your life back on track.

Here I share some back tracks toward a happy feeling.

  1. Get to the source, read it yourself and find out where it actually dropped down.
  2. Vent it out with someone who makes you feel better.
  3. Watch something that adds to your purpose, or just the things that brings you joy.
  4. Cook yourself a meal, cherish it.
  5. Go for a walk and just observe yourself, your breath, your body, or the birds in the sky.
  6. Listen to music of your choice.
  7. Re-read the quotes, books, poems that instil calm and help you gain back a normal state.
  8. Clean your surroundings.
  9. Delve in your hobby or find one for yourself.
  10. Take a nap (without any regrets)
  11. Take a warm water shower.
  12. Doodle, they don’t need to look pretty or make sense always.
  13. Visit a place or your happy place, where you find that connect.
  14. Write a letter to someone who just stood by you, even if it is you yourself.
  15. Do some headbanging, shake yourself out of it.

And most importantly, allow yourself to experience it. Embrace it. And let it pass. 🙂

awareness believe believe in yourself boost capacity building conscious consistency create deal with disappointment discoverempower engage entreprenuer fitness gratitudegrowth mindset happiness heal health investlifestyle changes light love manifest Mental Healthmotivation new beginning positive power preventionproblemsolving psychology punctuality quotes rise save selfcareselfgrowth selflove stay strong subconscious mind trustunwind wellness work in progress

Begin with Attention Management

You must have heard the term “pay attention” since childhood on different instances. Ever wondered – why are you so distracted? So much so that you find it hard to get yourself to focus on the work.

Often, you must have read on topics such as productivity, getting goals accomplished but often missed the essence which lies in attention management.

Attention management is a simple practice of having control over your distractions in the present, and maximising your flow to focus on your potential.

Attention is integral part of personal growth as it has a lot to determine your experiences both inside and outside your home. It helps in a great way to get you closer to accomplishing what you want for yourself. As simple as, preparing your favourite dish, requires your attention.

Attention is like muscles in your body, using them in the right way is important. It puts you in track of your time.

Practising attention consistently is a good way to work around it. As it gets you in a practised routine and get you consistent results.

While looking at the consistency, progressing in it also creates an impact. Notice the time span you are investing in maintaining your attention. No hard and fast rule. You can increase it gradually over a period of time or maintain a fixed one; whatever works for you.

When you lose your attention, noticing that very moment where you lost it, when you lost it, how you lost it, in itself helps you. Noticing and correcting your focus, can be a simple mindfulness technique which can be applied in this case.

Taking control of your attention is the beginning step which can help you to manage your attention in a long run. Take control of your life.

If you wish to read more on it, you can read Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, psychologist Daniel Goleman. He delves into the science of attention.

awareness believe believe in yourself boost capacity building conscious consistency create deal with disappointment discoverempower engage entreprenuer fitness gratitudegrowth mindset happiness heal health investlifestyle changes light love manifest Mental Healthmotivation new beginning positive power preventionproblemsolving psychology punctuality quotes rise save selfcareselfgrowth selflove stay strong subconscious mind trustunwind wellness work in progress

Cultivating Punctuality

Before beginning to work on punctuality, it is essential that you understand what is making you late. Watch yourself and your routine carefully to identify what really is making you late. DeLonzor author of Never Be Late Again says – many late people — including herself — are likely to have an aversion to leaving the house. To combat this she uses a mantra of sorts: “When I catch myself doing this, I’ll snap or clap and say ‘This can wait.”

This article is not here to make you feel bad about your lateness or to say lateness makes you the worst of all. It is just to help you to work it out, if this is one.

Firstly, If you want to begin with identifying, have a look at DeLonzor who identifies four types of persistently late people

  1. The Crisis Maker
  2. The Defier
  3. The Dreamer
  4. The Perfectionist

I am refraining to crowd this article with too much information so you can go ahead find your type.

Secondly, your motivation is with you. Find. Find Find. because it helps when you have a reason to be on time, it can be anything. I can give you an example here – Reach to work early and head home early to spend time with yourself, your family, or your pet.

Thirdly, begin with declutter. The thing is we unnecessarily clutter our lives with all things, thoughts and what not. Take an example of your cupboard, how easy it gets when you keep things in place, you find them early.

And, lastly, take responsibility. Know what makes you late, it can even be spending too much time in front of the cupboard every morning just to finalise what you’d want to wear today. Take notice of where you are investing too much time where it is not even required. Decide it the night before or wake up early.

End note – You are too amazing to put a blame on yourself for being late. Cultivate an attitude of punctuality, even if it is 10 minutes in prior.

Your motivation begins with you

motivationalquotestoinspireyoutobesuccessful

“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honour your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.”Bradley Whitford

Your faculties are unique to you, subjugating it won’t be helpful. Life is only enhanced when you work on enhancing your faculties. It can be anything that you set your mind on.

You see when you make up your mind, you set a goal that you wish to accomplish. Often when you set a goal, you tend to set it on an end note and not as a process. You must breakdown and put it into order.

The primary thing is most of the experiences comes from within. You can work on the experiences only when you begin to build it from within. Look at where you wish to work on. What kind of experiences you want to work on. Begin by managing the kind of experiences you want to experience.

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Build a stable platform where you want your experiences to build in a way you want. Invest in it. Delve into nature, find your niche. Perhaps, little more time in physical activity. Teach yourself how you can enhance yourself, let positivism build from multiple directions – your thoughts, your hormones, your physiology.

Find yourself. Define what encourages you according to what you want to seek on the outside. Put your things together. There is no such thing as perfection. Don’t involve yourself in something that harms you in the journey of your progress. Stop negative self talk. Be aware of it and before you begin to go in that direction, get up shake your body, sip a glass of water and get back.

It is extremely important that you deeply engage and involve in your motivation. Irrespective, what ever it is, give it your life. Make an experience out of it for yourself. Your engagement and involvement makes you

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To summarise – motivation for some people is goal driven and for others it is process driven. It is essential that you find what helps you better. Look within your faculties and enhance them. The experiences you derive from it is solely for you, and you must build a stable platform to build upon your experiences. Do not seek for perfection, delve into nature over self negative talk. Lastly, engage and involve deeply into whatever motivates you.

Stay motivated and rise.