
Rejection is one invisible wound that hurts a lot. Honestly, no one wants to feel that way, but sometimes in one or the other way we face it.
Rejections involves a response. It often evokes feelings of hurt, anger, guilt, shame, loneliness or social anxiety. A big part of its impact comes from perception of the rejection.
While some rejections can be categorized as minor but devastating because it makes us vulnerable. There are rejections which may have a debilitating impact such as when we fired at job, when our partner or a friend leaves us.
The answer is our brains 🧠. Evolutionary psychologists suggests that when we were hunter gatherers who lived in tribes. As we could not survive all alone, being excluded from tribe was considered a death sentence. As a result, we developed an early warning mechanism to alert us when we were at danger of being excluded or left out by our tribes — and that was rejection. People who experienced rejection as more painful over the years it passed on along their genes.
Scientists who have studied brain MRIs to study people who have undergone rejection show similar brain activity as those who were experiencing physical pain.
So, while we know why rejection hurts, important part is the need to overcome it before it takes a toll on us. Guy Winch in his Ted talk speaks about how it is essential to work on battling negative thinking and changing our responses to failure will not only heal psychologically but build a stronger resilience.
What do you do when you encounter rejections?
