My understanding of boundaries began approximately 4 years back. I was attending a lecture on boundaries, in the context of psychotherapy. I began drawing parallels that how about the concept in my own personal life.

The experience was quite different because personally if you ask me, I was paralyzed with the thought that I could not see the concept applicable in my life. I began internalising the concept, and tried applying in some of my relationships on which the stakes were low. I was quite impressed by how it relieved me, gave me a sense of me. I would do simple things such as- setting a set time that I would invest in them, try keeping their calls at the end of the day, so that I don’t exhaust myself. Slowly, I extended it, and it gave me more time for things I wish to do, as simple as cooking my meal, or spend time with myself being quiet.

I realized, that I have invested too much on people who are not having a perspective in life, are toxic, not contributing to my growth, and I need to keep going because that is not something I want. If you resonate with me, here are few ways you can work upon.

1. Prepare – your own well-being disclaimer – It is one effective way, begin with explaining yourself why it is important to you, and how it will help you. Center yourself on it and begin working upon it.
2. Apply – beyond yourself – When you observe that someone else is trying to set boundaries for themselves, appreciate, and express gratitude even if they are your family ,or a colleague.
3. Work on – how would you be an MVP for yourself – Often, what we do is, set that person who holds most value out of us. Locate that person within yourself. It will help you cultivate on what about them you appreciate the most.
4. Visualize – how life will be different without all that burden to carry – Believe me it will be much lighter.
5. Appreciate, and forgive yourself – for the things you can do, or change and those you can not.

Note – You are here to empower yourself, I am grateful to you for taking this time to read this.

One of the most grounding parts of any relationship is – how we set our beliefs. We often connect, because the pattern of our beliefs certainly intersect at some point. It may be about belief in the institution of friendship, scientific law, religion, beliefs about yourself, your family, your partner.hobbies, life, or the universe, and the list can go on…

A research has shown that when our strongly or deeply held beliefs are called into question, the amygdala, a part of the brain that is responsible for processing emotions, is in all gears up mode, as if we were encountering danger, leaving us disinterested, and sometimes, in no mood to consider a difference of opinion from the other side.

However, there are still ways one can figure an easy way out and that is – trust. You may be an amazing guitarist, have an impressive personality, or extremely charming. But, does that helps you, or gets you closer to someone- for meanwhile, of course, yes! but for long term, it’ll be no, mostly. Trustworthiness is a key component and acts like a sugar rush to our brains. You might have observed that you would easily surrender to something you greatly trust, maybe, your secret diary, friend, family member, or even God. The reason is that we strongly hold credibility and there exists established trust, over the past years.

People tend to let out their life experiences with some close, and not with others. It can be either because of similarity in opinions, thoughts, or some sort of established trust to confide in the person.

One of the best ways to begin with the journey of persuasiveness, is to begin with ease, followed by aligning your opinions or recommendations with a statement of theirs.

End note- Decide on what your beliefs are? Know that belief is a thought in your mind which can be worked upon, and create whatever you want, in any direction you choose.

I lay here, watching at the sky, from the green lands,

I watch the stars and the moon, and pay my reverence – to it all,

the blaze, the twinkle, the voyage of the unrestrained,

observing the slow and steady moves of the clouds,

feeling the lightness of the air through my hair.

I turn my face, and look at the sides, and all I see is the mighty sky,

sprinkling the glitter of its beauty, quelling all my wounds of void.

Then, how am I to not notice the splendour of this sparkling universe.

Lighting my life, over, and over again for a millionth time

• 

As we progress to building an understanding towards the superpowers of our subconscious mind. How it acts as a medium to strengthen our belief system. It is simple and uncomplicated, if you believe in something that is at the conscious level, you are likely to believe it at the subconscious level as well. For instance- I can overcome my fear of lizards or I can not overcome my fear of lizards.

“The subconscious mind is subject to the conscious mind.” – Dr Joseph Murphy.

Now the most important thing I want to address here is, it doesn’t even take us long enough to start cribbing. As a result of which, we begin asking ourselves all sorts of dis-empowering questions, such as – why me, why am I supposed to have a bad life. I humbly urge you to begin asking yourself questions that empowers you, such as,

• What is my purpose in life?
• What am I passionate about?
• How can I serve the community ?
• What new skills do I want to bring in to my character?

Moving further, we tend to focus too much on immediacy that we have nearly forgotten how to be patient. In earlier times when telephones/ mobiles weren’t there and people would greatly be dependent on telegraphs and letter. One would wait to hear the response from the other end. Similarly, wait for it to be conveyed to or answered in its best way. It will not only help you reduce your frustration but also, help you in knowing what you exactly want to ask.

And Lastly, just love the process. Once you understand that life is not just about the end goal or the checklist but somewhat similar to making a burrito. ❤

Quick notes- Manifestation isn’t just about wanting, and getting. It is a process of setting an intention, building awareness, asking right questions, taking actions, and let it come to you with ease and not stressing over it.

Every single second is an opportunity to change your life, because in any moment you can change the way you feel. – Rhonda Bryne

Often, after leaving from work on a Monday brings us all to rant about how much we already miss Sunday, or waiting for Friday to come ASAP! We engage in conversations about – how horrible our boss is, how dumb the fellow colleagues are, how commuting each morning sucks, and a boulevard of how life is not as luxurious, as one thought it would be. (chuckles)

Ranting is not that bad, it is okay if you want to speak about what is hurting you. Just vent it out of your system. Often, we attach negative thoughts around ranting, and ignore how it serves in clearing our systems. And makes us feel a lot better to be off that emotional burden out of our chests. All of us need a good vent after all, irrespective.

However, ranting should be done cautiously, as some of us blurt it out anywhere. You should consciously make sure that you are ranting in front of right people with whom you share mutual understanding. Sometimes, it may be misinterpreted or perceived negatively, or may even lead to negative consequences. While you rant with safe people, you should see when you are switching gears from venting to something that goes beyond it such as- political views, or religious norms. It may hurt emotions of the other person who is on the listening end.

So, how about having more alternatives to venting. In psychology we call it- ‘sublimation’ a form of defence mechanism. Sublimation helps us to transform socially unacceptable behaviours to acceptable ones.

You can reprogram your brain, rewire, and rewrite your system, because what you believe in, becomes your most prominent narrative. You can choose to give yourself a break, and instead look within- What about it makes you feel irritable. How would you want to work it out.

You may take some deep breaths, calm down. Choose any area of your life, solve the blocks, or pick on affirmations of your choice. Picking affirmations beginning with ‘I’ are often said to have a positive impact. You may even pick simple ones, such as,

I love myself.

I am overcoming my self doubts.

I believe in the power of love.

To sum up: You can choose anything you wish to choose. However, a balance between the two can be helpful.