What can I do? I am so tensed… I can’t deal with myself everyday…. Getting out of the house, makes me feel like a stress ball.

Do you relate with the above statements?

If, YES

Hear me out.

When we are anxious, or are having that crippling feeling of discomfort, we find it hard to concentrate, or focus on our work. Henceforth, almost deactivating our capacity to make meaningful decisions.

Look at those patterns, what follows, where it follows, how it follows… This self awareness is the very first step to help you begin. Take pride in being a stress ball, and still getting out of the house, being tensed under difficult situations, and still preparing yourself to face it all.

Now, after you have looked at the questions about the patterns – try to do small steps, in terms of what can help you reduce, or how can I consume it less. For example : If I know taking caffeine in the morning can make me feel tensed in the morning, avoid it. Begin your day with some hydrating drinks/smoothies.

Next, don’t go on the loop of the past, because we tend to learn to be more stressed and multiply our thoughts into the unhelpful directions, try to be easy on yourself. Put a STOP, mentally tell yourself to pause that moment and switch to something that is uplifting you physiologically and psychologically.

That’s all for the day. 🙂

All of us have faced unpredictable situations which has led to uncertainty. Escaping it hasn’t been an easy job. It makes us feel uncomfortable, and vulnerable.

And, I can absolutely feel you on this point, because humans love certainty. We love to be sure, and want everything to be certain. But think about how you feel each morning, trying to figure out how to go about the day, setting goals, and what all to do.

Stress and symptoms of anxiety lie at the heart of uncertainty. Just like we feel when we are about to get our results. Perhaps, handling uncertainty is an art within itself, to venture into the unknowns.

I love how Yalom puts it in his book, Love’s Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy, quotes –

“The capacity to tolerate uncertainty is a prerequisite… The powerful temptation to achieve certainty through embracing an ideological school and a tight therapeutic system is treacherous: such belief may block the uncertain and spontaneous encounter necessary for effective therapy.

[…]

I must assume that knowing is better than not knowing, venturing than not venturing; and that magic and illusion, however rich, however alluring, ultimately weaken the human spirit.”

Here is what happens on the brain level – uncertainty makes our brain yield control to the limbic system, instead of rational brain, hence, our brains pushing to overreact.

Then what me must do about uncertainty, than just embracing this part of our lives. I understand how it troubles us on some days, here are few ways which you might like

1. Try to keep your limbic system quite in those times, you can do it by simply deep breathing, dumping all the fears and irrational thoughts in the dustbin.
2. If not positive, try sticking to staying neutral and unperturbed.
3. Stop taking is so seriously, look at your bladder for a minute, does your pee gives you a reminder when it comes?

End note – Uncertainty is simply a way of life.

Aren’t we all unwinding something or the other every time? Isn’t it too difficult to stay with the same old feeling which blocks our thinking? How about a break, how about times when you just look up to the sapphire sky and breathe, unravelling the mysteries of life and returning back home rejuvenated in the midst of mundane and tiresome routines.

We are prone to feeling fatigued and bored from routines, and perhaps what keeps playing on our mind is a break. Breaks are short periods of time when we change the boring routine of incoming information, which usually arrives via predictable, tedious, and well-worn pathways. And most of us have thought about taking a break, at some point or the other. The nature of breaks can have different forms; it may be a tea break or a power nap, depending on person to person. Each of us has different meanings of breaks and distinct needs that we aim to fulfill via such breaks. Breaks can be either volitional or forced. Volitional breaks are most often voluntary, we decide to take a break and hence we take it, such as a walk in between our work. Whereas on the other hand, forced breaks are unwillingly taken, such as any medical emergency or any urgency on board that can be exhausting too.

We often feel the need to give our minds a booster shot and rejuvenate our mental processes. Our brain requires substantial time to think of innovative ideas or just wander. While talking about wandering, the meaning may in itself take different forms. Wandering is when we diverge; it is not necessary to have any aim in mind. We are usually so structure ridden, that wandering gives us a new lens to view things.

People need free space to create a better capacity to work effectively and efficaciously. On a typical day, there is an overwhelming amount of data that our brains process, which is why there is a necessity to give our brains a break. Recent studies have shown how small periods of diversions from a task can dramatically have an impact on our ability to focus for a longer period. The results suggested that prolonged attention onataskhinders performance. Apart from those mentioned above, meditation and mindfulness training are other ways of taking breaks. Mindfulness is characterized by merely paying precise, nonjudgmental attention to the details of our experience as it arises and subsides, not necessarily rejecting anything. Instead of struggling to get away from the incident we find difficult, we move towards being able to be with them. We bring mindfulness to pleasant experience as well.  Being mindful is not a substitute for actually participating in our lives. In fact, the more mindful we are, the more skillful we can be. There are three basic aspects worked with, in this technique. First, is the environment surrounding our body and body position. Second, working on breath, and last, working on thoughts such as plans for future goals.

Breaks restore our brain’s stores; they encourage productivity and creativity and most essentially increase our attention because our brains are built to detect and respond to change. They enhance our abilities, and give us time to reboot and complete our unfinished businesses.

While on a break, we allow our minds to wander, replay, absorb, and rewrite the blunders we may be committing. It helps to give ourselves moments to craft our own innovative ideas; to have the script ready in our heads and improvise before executing in real life. Breaks are reminders to go back to the past menu and pick out the moments that are now golden and keep a constant check on our growth.  Also, breaks help us note the sensations and experiences of various aspects of life, making our own narrative unique to ourselves. We don’t immediately take actions to get rid of our thoughts. It may take time and we are constantly in the process of learning to be with ourselves. It is of course possible that we’re just daydreaming of impossible acts of heroism or remembering our golden memories, but it’s also possible that we are xylographing the old wood and unraveling our potential.

Well! You can go ahead and take that break.

Anjali Kanojia

Originally published – https://www.monkprayogshala.in/blog/2017/2/27/mental-unwindings-decoding-breaks

What does it take to be happy, the question that is often followed by a heart break, a bad day, disappointment, just when we are looking for meaning in our life.

A 75 year-old Harvard’s Grant and Glueck studies – the key to long term happiness and fulfilment. And the clearest message came out by Robert Waldinger, Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, was that :

“Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.

The quality of life essentially lies in the quality of relationships. And, it is greatly proportional to one’s emotional, physical, and mental well being.

It lies in the genuine and honest connections.

Mindmaven defines Positive Alacrity : a skill that defines creating micro-experiences which causes an emotional uplifting in others.

The crux lies under what happens when we deconstruct the meaningful relationships; one important aspect that stands out is – How we interact.

Interaction makes a huge difference, it may not be in bigger things like writing a 300 word letter. But in simple ways –

Appreciating an employee at work for his/her contribution at work.

Thanking your partner, conveying how their contribution has impacted your life.

Being grateful for the meaning / purpose anyone added to your life, which impacted you.

So, what it takes to be happy – Positive Alacrity and consistency in delivering small acts in simple and mundane experiences.

I am as ordinary as you are,

I am as fragile as you are,

I am as vulnerable as you are,

And, I am trying like you are.

I am here to rise like you are,

I am here to love like you do,

For that is the only thing.

I am I, with you ,

And,

You are you, with me.

Together, You and I,

Are here,

To rise,

To rise.